Advice required

[fredsheppard Profile Private message]

Over a year ago I made a slide show that
I want to enter in a contest where I live.
What I would like to know is what am I doing wrong and how should I correct it
http://www.photodex.com/sharing/viewsho ... 7148&alb=0
Running time 5 min 39 sec
Please note there is a five sec black screen at the start to act as a pause between shows

[Tom Perry]

Hi Fred,

Just my opinion (your mileage may vary

I see a bunch of excellent photos of a cruise ship, but there seems to be no story to this show. Questions that ran through my head were:

Where is the boat located? Why is it so special?
Were you on the boat for a cruise?
Where are all the people I would expect to see?
etc., etc.,...

When I say "story" I mean it starts off something like

"Once upon a time..."

and then

"The show itself" telling the story

and then ending something like

"...and they lived happily ever after."

In my mind, anyway, there needs to be a lot more than just good photographs to make a good show. Use your photos to support/enhance your story.

Just my 2¢ (Canadian, that is)

[iknowwhereitis123 Profile Private message]

BEAUTIFUL SHIP! Holy Moses.

There's a few changes I would make myself but it depends on what contest you are going for. If it's the most beautiful ship, you have that one nailed. If it's about vacations, I have to agree with Tom. I don't know if you just toured this ship, or if you actually went on a cruise! Put some people in it. Show emotion whether it's relaxing on deck having a big fat tropical drink, jumping in the pool so on. Were there young people and old? Maybe a map of where you started and ended. Did you stop at any ports? Did you see any 300 pound men in thongs? (I hope not!) But if so, it would give us a chuckle (or lose our lunch) but we would feel like we were involved, we saw what you saw.

You might also slow down on the motions and transitons. Some might get sea sick... get it? Sea sick?? Ahem...But if you like the movement, then by all means keep it. Some of the motions didnt make sense. Like the stairway scene. Awesome photo but I am not sure why you started the slide zoomed in on a stair and pulled away. Maybe just put the whole scene in and if you want a slight shift, do it, but why zoom in on it? From what I have learned on here, and it makes so much sense... Make your movement have a purpose. Slight movement can keep it from feeling static, but too much and you lose the focus of the show.

One more thing (I'm on a role!) When you have 2 identical slides, one with movement and the next still, try a cut transiton with a time of 0. That will help the transition not be blurry.

Of course, all my shows are perfect so I can give you advice. LOL!

Just my 4 cents (US that is)
Good luck in the contest and let us know how you did.

Sue

[Jerry Cole Profile Private message]

Fred,
I think Tom, Sue and I are on the same page as far as the lack of a "story" goes. The pictures are great, but the slide show lacks direction or any indication of why the photos were done, or why you were there taking pictures.
Jerry

[fredsheppard Profile Private message]

When I was on the ship I was very impressed by the ships architecture and design
As result my main reason for shooting the pictures was that I trying show off the that ship..
I went to great pains to shoot the pictures with out people even though the ship had over 2000 passengers at the time. I shot many of the deck shots when it was cooler in the morning with a cool breeze off the Pacific in the month of FEB. when most of the people were having breakfast. The interior shots were taken between 1:00 am and 3:00 am in the morning with the cleaning staff to keep me company . The Midnight Buffet was shot with flash on camera because the cruise line reserved only twenty min. to photograph the midnight buffet before the rest of the passengers were allowed to serve them selves

I have to agree that the video name was away out in left field.
I think if I were to name this video That Big Wonderful Ship Or for Your Eyes Only
It would be quite clear that I was doing a soft sell on the idea of cruising on that ship or with that cruise line
From that point on I would try to reduce the number of transitions ..
As far as a story is concerned I don’t have one .
All I have is a photographic tour of a well designed beautiful ship which might appeal to a advertising agency trying to do a promotion for the people that were responsible for the ships design and construction .

Fred

[Jerry Cole Profile Private message]

Fred,
Even as a "photographic tour of a well designed beautiful ship" you still need some type of narrative.

What makes the ship well designed? Where is the ships home port? How big, or how many people does it accomodate? How many in the crew?, How many decks? How big are the cabins? What areas are we seeing? What are the features that make this more than just a heap of floating flotsam and jetsom.

In short .... you still need a story!
Jerry

[Tom Perry]

As far as a story is concerned I don’t have one

Right... so you make one up to suit your photos! There's no law against that and besides, TV, these days, is at least 75% fiction or made-up stories.

[heckydog Profile Private message]

The first thing I noticed was the music.

Here's this modern, sleek, cruise ship with all the latest amenities and the music you used to celebrate it's grandeur was from the 40's and 50's. It didn't seem appropriate to the slide show.

imho, music is very important for setting the mood of the show and should enhance the mood you're trying to create. My first thought was this is a cruise ship for senior citizens.

Joe

[trulytango Profile Private message]

"All I have is a photographic tour of a well designed beautiful ship which might appeal to a advertising agency trying to do a promotion for the people that were responsible for the ships design and construction"

Hi Fred

Great job with the shots... the boat is presented beautifully, in all it's glory, and like you say, it might have more appeal as an advert or promo? But you are entering it for a contest? Can I ask.... what sort of contest are you thinking of entering? Is it something for serious photographers or something else entirely?

In any case, well done - the hard work and effort you put into the photography has paid dividends, but it's a pity you don't have any other shots to add the contrast that's maybe needed to lift the show up a notch. In the absence of such images, I'd suggest putting in some more text... the things that Jerry mentioned are probably things you yourself are interested in - and in that way, your interest well may spark the viewers interest.

I thought the music was fine, given the material. I've never been on a cruise, but in my mind's eye, that is just the sort of music one would hear being piped across the decks?

Best regards
Iris

[Jerry Cole Profile Private message]

I've never been on a cruise, but in my mind's eye, that is just the sort of music one would hear being piped across the decks?

Best regards
Iris

Iris,
We gotta get your mind's eye off that Island and onto a cruise ship! Just ask Tina.
Jerry

[im42n8 Profile Private messageWebsite]

Fred,

For a contest, this show would represent a first draft at best to me. You want something that's going to at least place. Consider the viewer, don't add (from your mind) what you already know to what you're viewing. The viewer only has what they see to judge what's going on. You can't expect the viewer add what's not there. That's why you need to tell a story vs just stringing some good photos together and expecting those to do it for you.

Consider the viewer and what he/she is going to see when they view the show.

The speed of the moving photos does not match the music (not the same "energy") for the 1st music track. The slides with the images coming into view on a black background seem to be missing something.

If you want a more professional quality show, keep your transition types to an absolute minimum. Right now, you've got way too many transitions! To transition between different segments of the show you might then use a different transition (as in going from inside to outside or from recreation to food .... for a wild example!). This has been discussed a few times in this forum (and/or the producer forum).

Put something in the background vs using the black all the time ... you REALLY need something there. The black bars on the sides don't do a thing for the show (aside from being a distraction). IMO, it doesn't cut it. Plus, the off centered images coming in from somewhere don't seem right. It could be because of the background, it could be because it's token movement, don't know.

Movement should be for a reason. Generating a feel of movement, moving you to or from something ... but not just for the sake of it. I got the impression that much of the movement was just so you'd have it. Movement is part of the story too!

The captions are hard to read (blue and white border ones). Consider changing the font to one that's easier to read. Also, be consistent. You don't want different fonts in your captions unless there's a compelling reason to use such.
Basically, keep the color and font scheme of your captions consistent throughout the show. Also, consider a background or background effect for the captions (esp if you insist on keeping what you've got) to improve the contrast between text and the background (to make it easier to read).

Watch the sudden appearance of an image without timing it to the music appropriately. Otherwise, it just pops in there and doesn't seem to fit right. It has to look like it was done on purpose and not because you weren't paying
attention to detail.

Right now, this looks very much like a first draft vs a final draft. As done, I don't see it as contest quality yet. You've got the mechanics of it done, now it needs the fine tuning to get ready for submission!

Dale

[fredsheppard Profile Private message]

I would like to thank everybody for the suggestions that they have given me in producing a Photo Essay
for the contest.
By the way these Essays are quite a challenge because they only allow you six min. total time

I have only been a member of the club since Jan. as a result rather than getting excited about this years contest I will put it on the back burner and apply your suggestions to next years contest .
Before I produce next years slide show I will write a script or create a concept before I ever attempt to take any more pictures.. This will at least point me in the right direction.
I will drastically reduce the number of transitions and work very hard on the music .
When the competing videos are projected I WILL WATCH THEM CAREFULLY and take notes on all of their good points and all of your suggestions and try to incorporate all of these in my video next year
Thank you again everybody for your help.
Fred Sheppard

[mrs. canuck Profile Private message]

Hi Fred,

You sound discouraged, and I don't think you should be. As a member of the Hamilton Camera Club who has seen a number of "Photoessay Nights", I agree that your show might not win, but I don't think it would be out of place either (kind of like club curling versus the Brier). You have some great photos. If you have time, I think you could make a few changes that would improve it.

I don't think that the time limit of six minutes should be a problem. In my opinion, the best slide shows are those that get the point across but don't belabour it. You could take out the first audio track, which really does move a bit too fast, and just use the last two, which set a tone of elegance.

I think that you CAN make a story with the photos you have. Why not start with something like, "Imagine, a dream come true..." or "The Cruise of Your Dreams". You've grouped your photos on themes, but perhaps you could start each with a bit of text, such as "Magnicent Views Everywhere", "Delicious Buffets", etc. Choose your best photos for each section, but be careful not to go "overboard" and use too many. At the end, you could have the photo of the ship or of some people waving and use something like, "See You on Board!" or "Bon Voyage!" With the beginning and ending adjusted, you've got your story.

Make all your transitions simple and keep them the same, except for perhaps the first slide of each section. A different transition emphasizes the slide, but when there a lots of different ones, they lose their effectiveness.

Why not start your inside shots with the scene of the stairs and zoom IN, rather than out? That way, viewers get the impression that they are going up the stairs and thus have a better idea of where the next few slides are taken.

I think that the font you've chosen has an elegant look, but it can be difficult to read when it's moving or is on a busy background. Just keeping it still or putting it on a simpler background would make it easier to read.

If you're brave enough to post your show here, where everyone does slide shows, you should be fine at the camera club!

Dee

[G_OReilly Profile Private message]

Fred:
First of all I'm new to proshow gold and am trying to learn the "ins & outs" of the program.I hope that you do not get disappointed for the comments that have been presented,we are all here to learn and I know that the people here are very friendly and only want to help.

The transitions can be overdone as I've done this on some of my shows but just like a kid in a candy store I wanted to try all of them .

The pictures that you presented were well exposed and that in itself is a good thing especially with the different lighting situations.

Looking forward to seeing some more of your shows.

George